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So the people who are saying ‘No, Miley’ are saying that because she wears these revealing bathing suits onstage and twerks with teddy bears,” a reference to Cyrus’s controversial 2013 performance at the MTV Video Music Awards, “which is weird. Lily took pictures of herself in the white skirt and tank top and texted them to her friend Priya.

She’s expressing herself, but not in the way that we want our kids to see.”There was a DVD on her shelf, a relic of yesteryear. “She’ll tell me what she thinks,” she said, “she’s blunt.” Then she went in the bathroom again and changed into the black minidress. Priya texted: “The black kinda looks like what a mom would wear to a wedding.” “So I guess that settles ,” Lily said with a laugh.

Her room was messy, crammed with things: a bed, desk, a chair, clothes, books, shoes, discarded toys, and an elliptical exercise machine she used to “stay in shape.” “Sometimes when I’m stressed out I just go on it for like an hour and it takes the stress away.”She began piecing together an outfit. “I modeled for like two years, but then I gave up because I fell down on the runway,” in a practice show, “and I didn’t like it anymore.

I modeled from like 11 to 13—I was in a modeling agency.

At the school I go to one bad grade can, like, crush a person.”And so she wasn’t sure whether she could fit “a relationship” into her jam-packed schedule.

Josh lived on Long Island, too, in a town nearby, but through all of this texting and Skyping and favoriting and liking, they had never managed to actually see each other in person.

“Like I wonder why our parents let us do grown-up things. ” She talked about bat mitzvahs and birthday parties where there were “mocktails,” or faux alcoholic drinks in cocktail glasses. But by the time we’re in college, we’ll already know what that feels like to party till one in the morning. ”She talked about a party where there was a “runway show,” and girls could “pick a designer dress and put it on and wear it on the runway and there was a paparazzo taking pictures so we could pretend like we were famous.

“The way girls dress now is just She was deciding between two outfits to wear that night on her date: it was either going to be a black minidress from Brandy Melville or a short white skirt and black tank top from Urban Outfitters. ”She decided that in order to make a decision on what outfit to wear she would have to put on both and text pictures of herself in them to Priya, to get a second opinion.It was cool, it was fun, but it got to be too much, so I quit.” When I talked to Lily’s mother, later, she said that Lily “could be” a model, if she were only taller.“The lady at the agency would do our makeup and we would practice doing fake photo shoots and we would practice the catwalk in high heels,” said Lily. “That’s one of the reasons we moved out here to Garden City, so my brother could play soccer.”Garden City is a village of some 22,000 people, about an hour’s drive from Manhattan, an affluent community with many beautiful churches, a place centered on raising kids, raising them to be successes. She was one of the top students in her grade at a competitive Manhattan private school. “My whole family’s good at sports,” she said breezily.She was hanging the outfits on her bedroom door so she could get a better look, standing back, regarding them.“Like, there was a party for the private schools on a boat and all these girls were wearing cutout dresses, dresses with random cutouts,” she went on, “like a belly cutout to show your bellybutton; you’ll even see, like, 12-year-olds wearing these things. She went into her bathroom and came out wearing the short white skirt and black tank top. ” she asked, turning around to look at herself in her bedroom mirror.